Sodium bulb moment
I have to admit, I have learned a lot of things about myself while on the course of this wedding planning bit. One is that Joen and I were really meant to be together. No need for explanation on matters as sublime as this one. Another is that music plays a much bigger part in my life than I ever thought it has. No need for explanation on THAT one either. But the biggest realization I had was about how my fashion sense says a lot about me.
See, I realized that there were hundreds of other much prettier, bigger, lacier and anything-er wedding gowns out there that I could've gotten for myself. But somehow, I stuck with the most simple, no-frills one. I could've easily grabbed those designer gowns, some of them for a bargain price, but I just didn't see myself in them. Same with my reception dress. I have been on the lookout for the best dress for me but I seem to shy away from anything that looks too busy even if I knew it would tell me apart from the rest. All these gowns and dresses look very good on paper but bad on me. Why? Because if I wore them, I can imagine forcing to carry myself the way the gown/dress would want to carry ME. And the other way round is not the way to work it. I could never pull-off wearing some Vera Wang-ish gown because with all that money, I would rather grab a roundtrip ticket to Europe or better yet, invest it wisely. It's just not practical in the world I live in (which is nowhere near Paris Hilton's planet). Also, if I grabbed something that looks as busy as Wall street, will anybody even notice the huge smile I have on my face? Or will people end up ogling at every inch of the gown and miss out on all the other details? If I got something bulky, ball-y, train-y and with ruffles here and there, instead of shaking hands or kissing people, my two hands will now be occupied lifting my gown up and adjusting every bit of foreign obstacle out of the way. In the end, I wouldn't know how to carry myself in these kinds of gowns. Other girls would because they're ok with it. And I, well... I am NOT ok with it. That's not to say that I compromise quality for price. Nuh-uh. I probably just don't want anything superlative, I guess.
Furthermore, Leg and I were chatting the other night about my reception dress. So far, all those I had in mind seemed too simple for her. Leg, my lovely fashionista friend, who is a no-frills dresser too, mind you, is one of the most fashion-savvy people I know. And she has both an opinion and a sharp eye for fashion, even for those clothes she doesn't wear herself. Anyway, this lovely best friend of mine, in her sincere efforts to help me look for the right dress, told me that she wanted me to wear something that would "stand me out." As soon as she said it, I saw the light. There it was, the phrase that made me open my eyes. BINGO! I got it! I now know what it is! I finally realized that I am not the type to want to "STAND OUT", or "STICK OUT FROM THE CROWD"! I mean, I've probably always known this about myself but when you have this BIG day ahead of you and being totally selfish is supposed to be accepted since you're "THE BRIDE", I didn't find any change of heart for what I truly am comfortable with. And that is to be one with the crowd, to mix with the peeps, to mingle in. No wonder my favorite color has always been brown! Brown is probably the most ubiquitous color, don't you think?
Bottomline, I really realized that I am not the type to compromise my comfort level when it comes to fashion. And that applies even on my biggest day. See, some people go to lengths to look their best even if it means hurting their feet, itching, scratching and putting themselves through uncomfortable states. Not me. Not on my biggest day. On that day, I am going to float with comfort and glow with happiness. My smile will be the currency of the event, and the hand I hold, the foundation. On that day, the only person I would want to please aside from myself, is Joen. And I know he thinks I'm beautiful regardless of what I (don't) wear. Maybe it's because I've reached the age of not having to prove myself to anyone? Maybe I am now more financially savvy and even more practical that we have a future to save up for and think about? Maybe I have always been secure about myself that no matter how people see and judge me for what I'm wearing, I know deep inside what makes me distinct? Maybe I just don't give a rat's ass about image because I have always carried myself the way I should?
It's probably one thing or the other. Nevertheless, I thank Leg for incidentally making me know myself even better and making me want to embrace my limits. At 28 years old... nay, 29 this Saturday, I still have a lot of things to figure out. Good luck to me!
*Thanks indeed, Hija! Love you. Mwah!*
See, I realized that there were hundreds of other much prettier, bigger, lacier and anything-er wedding gowns out there that I could've gotten for myself. But somehow, I stuck with the most simple, no-frills one. I could've easily grabbed those designer gowns, some of them for a bargain price, but I just didn't see myself in them. Same with my reception dress. I have been on the lookout for the best dress for me but I seem to shy away from anything that looks too busy even if I knew it would tell me apart from the rest. All these gowns and dresses look very good on paper but bad on me. Why? Because if I wore them, I can imagine forcing to carry myself the way the gown/dress would want to carry ME. And the other way round is not the way to work it. I could never pull-off wearing some Vera Wang-ish gown because with all that money, I would rather grab a roundtrip ticket to Europe or better yet, invest it wisely. It's just not practical in the world I live in (which is nowhere near Paris Hilton's planet). Also, if I grabbed something that looks as busy as Wall street, will anybody even notice the huge smile I have on my face? Or will people end up ogling at every inch of the gown and miss out on all the other details? If I got something bulky, ball-y, train-y and with ruffles here and there, instead of shaking hands or kissing people, my two hands will now be occupied lifting my gown up and adjusting every bit of foreign obstacle out of the way. In the end, I wouldn't know how to carry myself in these kinds of gowns. Other girls would because they're ok with it. And I, well... I am NOT ok with it. That's not to say that I compromise quality for price. Nuh-uh. I probably just don't want anything superlative, I guess.
Furthermore, Leg and I were chatting the other night about my reception dress. So far, all those I had in mind seemed too simple for her. Leg, my lovely fashionista friend, who is a no-frills dresser too, mind you, is one of the most fashion-savvy people I know. And she has both an opinion and a sharp eye for fashion, even for those clothes she doesn't wear herself. Anyway, this lovely best friend of mine, in her sincere efforts to help me look for the right dress, told me that she wanted me to wear something that would "stand me out." As soon as she said it, I saw the light. There it was, the phrase that made me open my eyes. BINGO! I got it! I now know what it is! I finally realized that I am not the type to want to "STAND OUT", or "STICK OUT FROM THE CROWD"! I mean, I've probably always known this about myself but when you have this BIG day ahead of you and being totally selfish is supposed to be accepted since you're "THE BRIDE", I didn't find any change of heart for what I truly am comfortable with. And that is to be one with the crowd, to mix with the peeps, to mingle in. No wonder my favorite color has always been brown! Brown is probably the most ubiquitous color, don't you think?
Bottomline, I really realized that I am not the type to compromise my comfort level when it comes to fashion. And that applies even on my biggest day. See, some people go to lengths to look their best even if it means hurting their feet, itching, scratching and putting themselves through uncomfortable states. Not me. Not on my biggest day. On that day, I am going to float with comfort and glow with happiness. My smile will be the currency of the event, and the hand I hold, the foundation. On that day, the only person I would want to please aside from myself, is Joen. And I know he thinks I'm beautiful regardless of what I (don't) wear. Maybe it's because I've reached the age of not having to prove myself to anyone? Maybe I am now more financially savvy and even more practical that we have a future to save up for and think about? Maybe I have always been secure about myself that no matter how people see and judge me for what I'm wearing, I know deep inside what makes me distinct? Maybe I just don't give a rat's ass about image because I have always carried myself the way I should?
It's probably one thing or the other. Nevertheless, I thank Leg for incidentally making me know myself even better and making me want to embrace my limits. At 28 years old... nay, 29 this Saturday, I still have a lot of things to figure out. Good luck to me!
*Thanks indeed, Hija! Love you. Mwah!*
posted by maudester at 12:42 PM
1 Comments:
I'm glad to unintentionally help hija. :) BUT! I'd still love for you to stand out. You can be comfy and you while standing out. We just haven't found the right dress yet (yikes!)... speaking of which, I gotta decide on my godiva dress...
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